Sunday, April 1, 2012

April Schools

There's a whole lot of fishing advice on the internet - some advice is to help you catch more, larger fish, some advice is to keep you from making the same mistakes someone else has already made, some advice is designed to steer you away from someone's favorite spot, and some advice is just plain bad.  I will let you be the judge of the following tips I have picked up along the way.

  • Microwave your flies before use.  Humans prefer a warm meal and the same goes for a fish.  Throw your fly box in the microwave for a few minutes on high before you head out the door and your flies should be toasty all day long.  In a pinch you could dunk your flies in your coffee thermos for a few seconds.  The fish will eagerly respond to a warm meal.  Epoxy probably doesn't melt.

  • Name your bad flies after ex-girlfriends.  Because she is probably just as sloppy as your flies.

  • Always carry a gun.  When you tangle into the fish of a life time are you going to rely on your tangled tippet or the winning knot from Knot Wars?  I don't.  I count on 225 grain jacketed hollow point rounds traveling at 2400 feet per second to ensure I net my fish.  When the fish gets in range, "Choot em' Lizabeth!"
  • Tie some new catfish flies.  Skip buying the tanned rabbit and deer hides.  There are much cheaper materials on the side of every roadway.  Scrape off some opossum skin, lash it to a hook and toss it in.  I find specimens 3-5 days fresh work best.
  • Keep every fish you catch.  How else can you better prove your manliness to your family and friends than by bringing home fish that you can almost scrape an ounce of meat off of?  You can even cook your bait if nothing is biting that day. 
Minnow Fries

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